The Architectural Foundation of Oregon has announced its annual Honored Citizen. And no, this doesn't have anything to do with a discounted meal at Shari's restaurant and pie house. Instead, it's a kind lifetime achievement award for those who have...

We are just two weeks away from the most HISTORIC ELECTION in you lifetime so if you want to show your enthusiastic support for BARACK OBAMA, JOE BIDEN, the people's choice... then come out for a FUN ~ HIGH POWERED FIRED UP FOR CHANGE RALLY to Hold Signs and wave to passing traffic with "fired up and ready to GO" Team Obama supporters!

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Portland police are searching for an armed robber who held up an area restaurant Friday morning.

An Aloha man is charged with robbing two Shari?s restaurants in Oregon City, police said Thursday. Eric Joseph Martinez, 19, was arrested at his home along Southwest Prospect Street Wednesday night and charged with three counts of first-degree robbery. Oregon City Police Lt. Lisa Nunes ...

Crime Stoppers is offering up to $1,000 to anyone with information resolving the year-old investigation of the death of Matthew Dean Cantrell, 25, whose body was found in the Willamette River on March 21, 2006.

Cantrell was last seen the evening of Feb. 11, 2006 at his home in the 2300 block of North Winchell Street after visiting the H2O Martini Bar & Restaurant. A recent transplant from Eugene, Cantrell worked at a Shari's restaurant in Delta Park.

A tug boat operator spotted Cantrell's body floating near Northwest Front Avenue and Kittridge Avenue. The medical examiner's office found no signs of trauma on Cantrell's body.

Investigators will not release Cantrell's cause of death but believe his death was suspicious, said Detective Mike Weinstein of the Portland Police Bureau.

Anyone with information on the case is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 503-823-HELP (4357).

HILLSBORO -- A 33-year-old Beaverton waitress was sentenced to four years in prison Tuesday for robbing a lottery outlet and hitting the clerk over the head with a whiskey bottle.

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New mints come in two different varieties. Ones with Bush on the cover are sold as "embarrassmints." Ones with the whole Bush cabinet on it are sold as "indictimints."

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The employee is making love to the boss's wife.

"Kiss me! Kiss me!" she cries.

"I can't," said he. "I shouldn't even be doing this."

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A black goes to this psychiatrist. The psychiatrist says, "First, drop to your hands and knees and crawl to that wall over there." The black complies, and the doc says, "Kind of nice." Then he says, "Now, crawl to this wall over here." The black complies once again, and the doc says, "That's even better. Finally," says the psychiatrist, "crawl to that lamp over there." The black patient complies, and the psychiatrist says, "That would work, too."

The black stands up and says, "How is this going to help me, doc?"

"Oh, it won't help you," says the psychiatrist. "But I've got a black naugahyde couch coming in and I wanted to see where it looks best."

(I KNOW it's outrageous, but I couldn't resist. All in fun, see.)

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